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Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #1
    Marksman

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    Joke of the Day

    The President and the head of the Democrat Party, Nancy Pelosi, are arguing extensively over allowing immigrants into our country. Nancy of course wants free access to everyone who wants to come in, while Donald wants us to secure our borders and insure only the right people come in.

    Instead of going to a costly, time-consuming nationwide vote on the matter, they agree to a 3-day ice fishing contest to settle the issue whoever catches the most fish at the end of the 3 days will have his or her process implemented.

    The two decide that a remote frozen lake in northern Wisconsin would be the ideal place. No observers on the fishing grounds,but both would need to have their catches verified and counted each night at 5 PM so they use a neutral park ranger station.

    After Day 1, Trump returns to the station with a total of 10 fish, while Pelosi comes back with nothing.

    Day 2 finishes and Trump catches another 20 fish, but Pelosi once again comes back with nothing.

    That night, Pelosi and her cronies get together and accuse Trump of being a “low-life, cheater.” Instead of fishing on Day 3, they are going to follow Trump and to spy on him and figure out how he is cheating.

    Day 3 finishes up and Trump has had an incredible day, adding 40 more to his total.

    That night, Pelosi and her cohorts get together for the full report on how Donald was cheating.

    Pelosi stands up to give her report and says, “You are not going to believe this. Trump is cheating because he's cutting holes in the ice.”

    And this, my friends, tells you the difference between a businessman and a career government politician.

  2. #2
    Marksman

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  3. #3
    Marksman

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    Then the house and senate passed a law making ice fishing illegal so that would never happen again.
    Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don't.

    Tim

  4. #4
    Marksman

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    Quote Originally Posted by machinedrummer View Post
    Then the house and senate passed a law making ice fishing illegal so that would never happen again.
    Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. -Ronald Reagan



  5. #5
    Seriously Misunderstood!

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    Coyote, merge your joke here:

    https://www.bayoushooter.com/forums/...highlight=Joke

    Lots of good stuff!
    Remember; The 2nd Amendment Protects the 1st!
    Lyndon Johnson (Democrat & Father of US Welfare System) we'll give them stuff........."and have them ni&&ers voting democratic for the next 200 years!"
    "I'm a self reliant, self supported American trapped in a "Free Shit" society!"
    Be Warned! Amazon.com is Skynet!
    PLEASE STOP USING GOOGLE!
    I don't believe in a supreme deity; but have to believe Trump's win was Divine Intervention!

  6. #6
    Marksman

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    Quote Originally Posted by Emperor View Post
    Coyote, merge your joke here:

    https://www.bayoushooter.com/forums/...highlight=Joke

    Lots of good stuff!
    That is a good thread. Don't know how to merge so Copy and Paste.
    Last edited by Coyote5.0; December 6th, 2018 at 07:59 PM.

  7. #7
    Marksman

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    A Catholic Priest, a BaptistPreacher and a Rabbi were sitting around drinking coffee.

    Someone made the comment thatpreaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be topreach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided that each wouldfind a bear and attempt to convert it to their religion.

    Seven days later, they all cametogether to discuss their experiences.

    Father Flannery, who had his armin a sling and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

    Well, he said, 'I went into thewoods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from theCatechism. Well, that bear came after me and began to slap me around. So Iquickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, hebecame as gentle as a lamb.'

    Reverend Billy Bob the Baptistspoke next. He was in a wheelchair and had an IV drip. 'I went out and found mea bear. And then I began to read to my bear from the Bible! But that bear cameafter me. We wrestled down one hill, until we came to a creek. So Iquickly dunked him and baptized his hairy soul. And just like you said, hebecame as gentle as a lamb'.

    The Priest and the Reverend bothlooked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a bodycast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him.

    The Rabbi looked upand said: "Looking back on it - circumcision may not have been the bestway to start.*

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