Need some honest feedback on best approach

[themcfarland]

Let a buddy borrow a rifle for primitive deer season last yr.
His wife has filed a restraining order and eviction against him today.
We used to shoot archery and such in his yard too. .

She isn't responding to my request for my items and I suspect I am just **** out of luck in terms of getting my stuff back. Is this the case ?
Reasons since it's a restraining order, he can't pick them up either and although I have known her longer she isn't responding to me.

 

[davidd]

She's got a lot on her mind and getting you your rifle back is in (at least close to) last place. Perhaps if you show up at her door while she it home, knock, and VERY nicely ask if she would retrieve it, you may walk away whole, just to get you to go away? Touchy situation. Have a very close friend going through a divorce, albiet without the restraining order. Still a mess all the way around. Glad my wife puts up with my krapp.

 

[Jstudz220]

Since the poor fella now has a restraining order against him how does that affect his ability to buy and own guns currently?

 

[70mikenike70]

Well in this case, there is nothing legally stopping you from going to her house. If you go, she has 2 options. She can give you your guns or you can go to the Sheriff’s Office and tell them the situation and they can escort you back to her house, but they may require proof that the guns are yours. Also you can let her know that you will file a statement with the Sheriffs office that the guns are stolen and she will be in possession of stolen firearms and she will get some jail time…. So many different outcomes in this situation. Just see which route she wants to take!

 

[Magdump]

Since the poor fella now has a restraining order against him how does that affect his ability to buy and own guns currently?

That would actually be a PROTECTIVE order, but I’m sure a restraining order could put one under increased scrutiny. It may be that you can’t purchase with a restraining order but you can own/possess.
Years ago when I got divorced, my ex heard it was a good idea to have a protective order and actually wound up lying to a DA to have one filed against me. My attorney advised me to remove all the guns from my home which was a huge undertaking. I couldn’t legally possess a firearm for the length of the order. Two weeks later we went to court to answer and had our defense in order. The order was dismissed that day and she suffered no penalty for her actions (perjury) But I got to bring my guns home that afternoon. It was then that I learned the difference between a restraining order and protective order.

 

[Magdump]

Well in this case, there is nothing legally stopping you from going to her house. If you go, she has 2 options. She can give you your guns or you can go to the Sheriff’s Office and tell them the situation and they can escort you back to her house, but they may require proof that the guns are yours. Also you can let her know that you will file a statement with the Sheriffs office that the guns are stolen and she will be in possession of stolen firearms and she will get some jail time…. So many different outcomes in this situation. Just see which route she wants to take!

Exactly my thoughts. I’ll add that I wouldn’t pussyfoot around. If you can’t make contact with her, write a letter explaining all, make a copy and tape it to her door. Explain that you simply want your gun/guns back now and you were advised to give her the opportunity to do so (she can assume by law enforcement if you don’t say by whom) before reporting them stolen and telling deputies where they are. At worst, she might initially blow it off, but I’m sure common sense will prevail.
I would write: Ms Doe, I’m sure this is a bad time for you and don’t want to burden you but this is what I want to happen. This is the time frame I expect it to happen in and this is what I’m prepared to do if it doesn’t happen by then. I’m responsible for the firearm and cannot risk my well being by not alerting law enforcement of the situation.

Get back with us when it’s resolved. And good luck!

 

[Fordfella]

Since the poor fella now has a restraining order against him how does that affect his ability to buy and own guns currently?

j. Are you subject to a court order, including a Military Protection Order issued by a military judge or magistrate, restraining you from
harassing, stalking, or threatening your child or an intimate partner or child of such partner?

New form 4473 question "J" answers that question, at least for buying.

 

[Dishonored]

That would actually be a PROTECTIVE order, but I’m sure a restraining order could put one under increased scrutiny.

To my knowledge they are one in the same for Louisiana. After Heather’s Law went into place after 2019. TRO’s even temporary, restrict purchase and possession of firearms for the accused. Long term orders definitely do and are in effect for the duration of said order, set forth by the hearing officer or judge.

 

[Magdump]

To my knowledge they are one and the same for Louisiana. After Heather’s Law went into place after 2019. TRO’s even temporary, restrict purchase and possession of firearms for the accused. Long term orders definitely do and are in effect for the duration of said order, set forth by the hearing officer or judge.

Even possession? I’ll have to research that. It’s definitely been a long time ago but I remember the distinction being “shall not possess” for the protective order.
With all the new red flag crap I guess there’s no telling.

 

[MOTOR51]

If I were you I’d call the local law enforcement agency and ask them to meet you there. They will probably tell you that they are not going to make her give you the stuff back but will stand by while you ask. I’d go this route to prevent false accusations. If you have receipts or anything I’d bring that as well.

 

[frankinola]

You can attempt to reach out to her to have someone else contact her in your behalf. or speak with an attorney who can contact her.
this is the section of LA law which addresses the possession of a firearm while under a restraining order or protection order, LA does not just have one statue.

Louisiana Laws - Louisiana State Legislature

www.legis.la.gov

also the order could have imposed a condition of 'surrender' of all firearms

Louisiana Laws - Louisiana State Legislature

www.legis.la.gov

if they were surrendered to law enforcement you may need your 'proof of ownership'.
again, you may want to contact an atty to assist with getting your property back.

 

[La26]

By primitive, do you mean black powder/muzzle loader? Or .45-70 or 35 Whelen. If it is the former, it might not be worth the expense of hiring an attorney, etc etc If it is the latter, I would first make another attempt to contact her, asking her to arrange return of the firearm(s), or you will get the Sheriff to get involved since it is a firearm, and Federal Charges and blah blah blah. She might think they are her husband's and wants to retain them until property settlement for her fair share.

 

[Jstudz220]

Even possession? I’ll have to research that. It’s definitely been a long time ago but I remember the distinction being “shall not possess” for the protective order.
With all the new red flag crap I guess there’s no telling.

This is the whole reason it was being pushed to remove domestic abusers from the prohibited persons list just recently mainly because of situations like this or many other.

 

[Barry J]

See if your buddy knows who she has for a lawyer and talk to him.

 

[sandman7925]

I’d give it a little time to let things calm down and then very nicely try again.

 

[themcfarland]

tried to update this via phone, but nogo, so I had to wait till I had time on pc.
I had to encourage buddy to try to get his stuff back Sat. I met him and local deputy near by and I explained to deputy that I was not interested in in any conflict and if he was able to talk to her and ask for my stuff back Id appreciate it. He was awesome and sympathetic. I was able to get my stuff back without conflict.
This whole thing is a total CF. While buddy was in Va getting help, she moved him into a room in the house and moved a homeless Russian in and started a relationship with him. Giving my buddy all these rules and in my mind no room for a win.

She is a combat vet and in the paperwork said she was in fear of her life, now she is faster and smarter and meaner than he ever thought about being.. She had some trauma herself and is now angry years later and is taking it out on him. He is not helping himself and shut down and is not really up for this.
weds she filed the RO, but Thursday went with buddy to transfer truck into her name and come Sat, the paperwork indicated he could have the truck.. Now, she was setting up the scenario to let him drive away and then report truck stolen, I explained all of the to the deputy and he agreed she was setting the stage and discouraged him from taking truck.
I was able to take custody of my stuff and his pistol, but she wouldn't turn over his other guns.. He doesn't have a pot to **** in and is now pretty much homeless. Its a terrible situation and pisses me off.
If you think you might be served paperwork to restrict your access, have a plan to sell the collection to someone .. cheaply, so you are not forced to give the ex half of the proceeds.

 

[Jstudz220]

Wow. This is like some reality tv show or something

 

[Dishonored]

tried to update this via phone, but nogo, so I had to wait till I had time on pc.
I had to encourage buddy to try to get his stuff back Sat. I met him and local deputy near by and I explained to deputy that I was not interested in in any conflict and if he was able to talk to her and ask for my stuff back Id appreciate it. He was awesome and sympathetic. I was able to get my stuff back without conflict.
This whole thing is a total CF. While buddy was in Va getting help, she moved him into a room in the house and moved a homeless Russian in and started a relationship with him. Giving my buddy all these rules and in my mind no room for a win.

She is a combat vet and in the paperwork said she was in fear of her life, now she is faster and smarter and meaner than he ever thought about being.. She had some trauma herself and is now angry years later and is taking it out on him. He is not helping himself and shut down and is not really up for this.
weds she filed the RO, but Thursday went with buddy to transfer truck into her name and come Sat, the paperwork indicated he could have the truck.. Now, she was setting up the scenario to let him drive away and then report truck stolen, I explained all of the to the deputy and he agreed she was setting the stage and discouraged him from taking truck.
I was able to take custody of my stuff and his pistol, but she wouldn't turn over his other guns.. He doesn't have a pot to **** in and is now pretty much homeless. Its a terrible situation and pisses me off.
If you think you might be served paperwork to restrict your access, have a plan to sell the collection to someone .. cheaply, so you are not forced to give the ex half of the proceeds.

The power of women in modern America. Doesn’t take much to give a man the shaft and have the local government support it. I’ve seen many times cops disagree but the courts mandate; and well, orders are orders.

 

[themcfarland]

The power of women in modern America. Doesn’t take much to give a man the shaft and have the local government support it. I’ve seen many times cops disagree but the courts mandate; and well, orders are orders.

I dont want to take away from the fact that the responding deputy was in my opinion the very best who could have responded. He gave sound advice, was sympathetic to buddys position and was very calm and on point with helping . I cannot ever say enough about how well this deputy handled this mess. I feel the woman is the bad guy in this, but my buddy cant get out of his own way right now and is not helping himself..

 

[Jstudz220]

I dont want to take away from the fact that the responding deputy was in my opinion the very best who could have responded. He gave sound advice, was sympathetic to buddys position and was very calm and on point with helping . I cannot ever say enough about how well this deputy handled this mess. I feel the woman is the bad guy in this, but my buddy cant get out of his own way right now and is not helping himself..

That’s definitely a good thing for sure and props to the officer for being professional and level headed.