How to Offend Everybody

[flamatrix99]

God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.
The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"
And the Lord said, "They are rules for living."

Can you give us an example?"
"Thou shall not kill."
"Not kill? We're not interested."

God went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."
The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Honor thy Father and Mother."
"Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested."

Then He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."
The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said "Thou shall not steal."
"Not steal? We're not interested."

Then He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."
The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shall not commit adultery."
"Not commit adultery? We're not interested."

Finally, He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."
"Commandments?" They said, "How much are they?"
"They're free."
"We'll take 10."


There, that ought to offend just about everybody. Merry Christmas!!!

 

[dantheman]

Awesome !

 

[Yrdawg]

I ' M OFFENDED

 

[dantheman]

You need to include LEO in there somehow , so Nolacop can freak out and call you a hater .
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Sorry , couldn't help myself .

 

[posse comatosis]

You X%&@*ing Jew basher...LOL

 

[jphilp87]

You need to include LEO in there somehow , so Nolacop can freak out and call you a hater .
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Sorry , couldn't help myself .

LOL... i knew somebody would say that.

Thou shall not billy-club thy brother? .... hmmm that one didnt make it in there.

 

[senseiturtle]

Need to include some Christians in there, but otherwise, onto a good start

 

[scubasteve]

Christians were'nt around then.

 

[CavalryJim]

Christians were'nt around then.

...and Mexicans were?

 

[dantheman]

...and Mexicans were?

Technically , yes .

 

[Guate_shooter]

AZTECS were ........... LOL

 

[dfsutton]

God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.
The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"
And the Lord said, "They are rules for living."

Can you give us an example?"
"Thou shall not kill."
"Not kill? We're not interested."

God went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."
The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Honor thy Father and Mother."
"Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested."

Then He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."
The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said "Thou shall not steal."
"Not steal? We're not interested."

Then He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."
The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shall not commit adultery."
"Not commit adultery? We're not interested."

Finally, He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."
"Commandments?" They said, "How much are they?"
"They're free."
"We'll take 10."


There, that ought to offend just about everybody. Merry Christmas!!!

Jews actually have 613 Mitzvot.

 

[LongGoneDays]

lmfao @ technically yes

 

[tmlowe]

I'll throw mine into the pot...


Q. How do you know Santa wasn't a black man?




A. All the presents would be gone by the time he left

 

[senseiturtle]

My favorite

-
Q: Why don't baptists endorse pre-marital sex?



A: Because it might lead to dancing.

 

[W1nds0rF0x]

I ' M OFFENDED

I am offended at your offense.

 

[sparky_benton]

Oi Vei , We just cant get a fair shake ANYWHERE.....