On Marriage and Cheating...

[JWG223]

Or they could be swingers and then no holds barred! LOL

Sorry just had to throw that one in.

All the swingers I know are transplants or left. This area i live in is very bible belt and that is super rare. They prefer to cheat and lie and feign morality in public.

 

[in625shooter]

Divorce is harder than stepping out. Kids are sometimes in the mix and its easier to step out from time to time and keep it amongst adults. Those are the reasons I've heard. Oh, and "I love him, just no Passion or affection anymore, and we don't care enough to fix it." Is pretty common, too.

However would you be ok if your other half did the stepping out? Also how much does the other person have to loose? While there is temptation everywhere be carful, fire burns long after its out especially if you are in a situation where kids are involved. If your kids are older your one time or two of being a stud could cost you the rest of your relationship with kids. Spouses might be replaceable but will your kids disclaim you for what you did?

Hard to justify (stepping out) to them. If your not getting what you want out of your relationship I suggest an amicable split. Kids might be upset a divorce is happening but they will get over that, you crossing their mother not so much.

You fall out of love you fall out of love but make your choices on how you deal with it wisely or you might loose more than your spouse and money!

 

[Kcabear]

I agree that your results are typical. I could never do that to a friend though. No offense. (I have rediculous willpower. When my friends don't want to, or can't, I jog with their wives etc. To make sure they are left alone. None of them ever made me uncomfortable, either, BTW. Great friends and solid relationships.)I am only iffy on situations where I don't know the guy and he's tired of his wife and she needs a stand in in the bedroom. That really confuses me in a moral sense, especially whe says he steps out, too.

None taken.

 

[I_FLY_LOW]

If you stick it in her pooper, is it stil cheating?
~asking for a friend, of course...

 

[Cheesy Lasagna]

If you stick it in her pooper, is it stil cheating?
~asking for a friend, of course...

That's not sex.
That's foreplay and is fully permissible as long as she hasn't been eating spinach or peppers.

 

[Pas Tout La]

But the condom and lube down and back away!!! Don't insert yourself in drama where you don't have to. I had a friend that did this with a buddies wife and it turned out horribly. Not necessarily for him, but for #2 and #3's children. It's a lose lose situation bubba.

 

[Vigilante Sniper]

Lessons learned over the years: Once a cheater always a cheater.
The other observations were that women are prone to cheating in the following categories. Their 2nd, 6th, and 10th year of marriage, at the ages of 22, 26-27, 32-33. Double threat if the ages coincide with the years of marriage. Best place to pick up married women is the grocery store, worst a casino. Never go to a married woman's house...ever. Best to avoid messing with married women if at all possible. Never trust a woman (or man for that matter) they all have a point where they will stray if the conditions are right or things at home are in turmoil. They all think the grass is greener on the other side and don't realize that until its too late. Most women will rat you out to their spouse at some point whether through guilt, conscience, or spite. Finding someone you can trust will be hard if you been cheated on in the past, but it can be done. I've never cheated on my wives, I was alway the one who was cheated on, and after that experience with those two, I had a vendetta against women for several years, I was known as the "Heartbreaker". Now I am older and wiser, and regret some of the things I did in the past but hey thats life and we all experience it.

 

[madwabbit]

when I was single, I never asked if they were married or not. 1) I didn't care and 2) they'd lie anyway. If wasn't my problem, it was husbands problem.

Now that I'm married, I still don't ask. There isn't another woman this good or this good looking that'll put up with my ****. Why risk messing that up?

I've been the cheater.
I've been the faithful husband.

The latter is far less stressful and much more enjoyable if you want it to be.

 

[JWG223]

However would you be ok if your other half did the stepping out? Never bothered me much. Also how much does the other person have to loose? Varies. Maybe it's a gain, financially. While there is temptation everywhere be carful, fire burns long after its out especially if you are in a situation where kids are involved. If your kids are older your one time or two of being a stud could cost you the rest of your relationship with kids. Spouses might be replaceable but will your kids disclaim you for what you did? You're right, I am a bit cooler because of it. However, I don't think I would be if my Mom hadn't re-married to a douchebag. That's more the issue, with me.

Hard to justify (stepping out) to them. If your not getting what you want out of your relationship I suggest an amicable split. Kids might be upset a divorce is happening but they will get over that, you crossing their mother not so much. I'd honestly rathered my parents have swung vs. cheating, or just not gotten caught, or whatever. It was the re-marriage that pissed me off.

You fall out of love you fall out of love but make your choices on how you deal with it wisely or you might loose more than your spouse and money!

Lots of wisdom in your post.

 

[JWG223]

when I was single, I never asked if they were married or not. 1) I didn't care and 2) they'd lie anyway. If wasn't my problem, it was husbands problem.
The problem is, they tell me.
Now that I'm married, I still don't ask. There isn't another woman this good or this good looking that'll put up with my ****. Why risk messing that up?

I've been the cheater.
I've been the faithful husband.

The latter is far less stressful and much more enjoyable if you want it to be.

I have a crappy memory and am bad at maintaining a double life, or rather, I think I would be. Always played it honest back in the day when I was dating.

 

[JWG223]

Lessons learned over the years: Once a cheater always a cheater.
The other observations were that women are prone to cheating in the following categories. Their 2nd, 6th, and 10th year of marriage, at the ages of 22, 26-27, 32-33. Double threat if the ages coincide with the years of marriage. Best place to pick up married women is the grocery store, worst a casino. Never go to a married woman's house...ever. Best to avoid messing with married women if at all possible. Never trust a woman (or man for that matter) they all have a point where they will stray if the conditions are right or things at home are in turmoil. They all think the grass is greener on the other side and don't realize that until its too late. Most women will rat you out to their spouse at some point whether through guilt, conscience, or spite. Finding someone you can trust will be hard if you been cheated on in the past, but it can be done. I've never cheated on my wives, I was alway the one who was cheated on, and after that experience with those two, I had a vendetta against women for several years, I was known as the "Heartbreaker". Now I am older and wiser, and regret some of the things I did in the past but hey thats life and we all experience it.

I've found I pick up married women simply by sucking oxygen. Something about me is irresistible to those of them who want to cheat. Don't ask me what, because I don't have a clue.

 

[flamatrix99]

There isn't another woman this good or this good looking that'll put up with my ****. Why risk messing that up?

That sums it up right there....

 

[Gus McCrae]

Your forgetting about #3 who's married to #1 that may shoot you in your #2

Or shoot you in the #1.

 

[the dubshow]

Your forgetting about #3 who's married to #1 that may shoot you in your #2

Depends how hot she is. Seriously. Would you be upset for not exploring that later down the road? IMO, you cant fix a messed up relation but I also avidly avoid that position.

And are you friends with "#1a"?

 

[JR1572]

JR will absolutely love this thread topic.

I sure will. I'm married. I made a commitment to my wife that I will not break, under any circumstance.

As far as what any of y'all do, that's not on me.

JR1572

 

[doc ace]

If you truly want a happy and worry free life, A.) don't be Jody; and B.) don't go to bars or allow your wife to go a bar without each other's presence.

A means you're a ****ing dick. I don't care who you are, selfish no sense of self worth, greedy dickhead.
B shows respect to each other, as even some of the strongest willed people have been sweet talked by Jody while alcohol lowered inhibitions, I've seen it happen to some great men and women.

 

[Emperor]

I sure will. I'm married. I made a commitment to my wife that I will not break, under any circumstance.

As far as what any of y'all do, that's not on me.

JR1572

Well at least someone finally threw in a shooting reference.

This thread is really sad! So many members following this. Why; sad, albeit pathetic? Because to me, it exemplifies the current "human condition" here in America. Where contracts, commitments, oaths, promises, and tenets, mean nothing to most any longer!

Fantasy is one thing, but this reads like justification for some.

 

[ericlosh]

#1 can find someone else, i dont even want to associate with that crap

 

[VeedUp]

If you had to ask, then I'm sure you know it's wrong. But it is still a decision you have to live with, and for every action there is a re-aciton and sometimes consequences. Good rule is to stay away from married women who want to cheat, never turns out good. And who really wants to hook up with a woman who cheats on her husband, do you really think if she leaves him eventually and you all get married she won't do it again? Marriage is hard on both people, it's something that requires a lot of maintenance to keep each other connected. Some people don't need it, some couples require more some less. I would stay away from #1 doesn't sound like a good idea.

 

[oleheat]

It depends on what the definition of is is.







Sounds like a mess, buddy. Don't let horny get you all caught up in it. Been the pitfall of many a fella....