Why would you want kids?

[JWG223]

Just curious. I mean, for those of you who actually had kids because you wanted them and not because you messed up.

I read stuff like this: http://news.yahoo.com/police-hero-instructor-fought-son-arrow-attack-003905755.html

and my belief that I don't want children is re-affirmed.

Nothing you can do as a parent will make a kid good or bad, for sure. It's just luck. So why do people give up so much on such a return-less gamble?

 

[MyBabyDaddy]

So I dont have to cut grass anymore.

 

[Jotuns]

In hindsight can you understand why your parents would've wanted you?

 

[JWG223]

So I dont have to cut grass anymore.

See, I know you're joking, but I've gotten stupid answers from people being serious, too. Some like:

To carry on your family name. (Who cares? You're going to be dead. You won't mind.)
To carry on your genetics. (WTF kind of egocentric crap?)
To take care of you when you're old (Oh, so you want to move in and ruin their marriage and life in general? Nice...)

I mean, I really haven't seen a seriously good reason to have a kid.

 

[RyanW]

I want/ed kids because I don't base my life decisions on a poorly written news story wrapped around a minimal statistic. My chances of slipping in the shower and dying are FAR greater than my children growing up to be murderers, but I still take a shower every day.

 

[JWG223]

In hindsight can you understand why your parents would've wanted you?

No. I caused my father to sell his plane, his 'vette, his Harley. I cost him time and money for growing up, I cost him time with his wife and doing what he wanted to do.

Yeah, I'm successful. Yeah, he knows he can hit me up for cash whenever. Yeah, we like having supper once a week or so and just shooting the breeze, but far and away, I still think he is a bit "off" about things if he thinks it was a good trade. I certainly don't. If I were an accident, I would feel guilty about it. I might have been, but I was told I was not, so no guilt. Still, he gave up a LOT just to say "Look, here are pictures of my son and crap he owns and he saves lives and he's not missing a leg or something"

 

[JWG223]

I want/ed kids because I don't base my life decisions on a poorly written news story wrapped around a minimal statistic. My chances of slipping in the shower and dying are FAR greater than my children growing up to be murderers, but I still take a shower every day.

Well, yeah, I understand, but the news article was just what kicked the desire to start this topic off. My neighbor's son being a drug dealer and killing someone and living in prison now, a lot of my college roommates, and other things, are what really make me feel this way. Hell, my own existence proves it. I think my Dad got a raw deal having to give up so much.

 

[Jotuns]

No. I caused my father to sell his plane, his 'vette, his Harley. I cost him time and money for growing up, I cost him time with his wife and doing what he wanted to do.

Yeah, I'm successful. Yeah, he knows he can hit me up for cash whenever. Yeah, we like having supper once a week or so and just shooting the breeze, but far and away, I still think he is a bit "off" about things if he thinks it was a good trade. I certainly don't. If I were an accident, I would feel guilty about it. I might have been, but I was told I was not, so no guilt. Still, he gave up a LOT just to say "Look, here are pictures of my son and crap he owns and he saves lives and he's not missing a leg or something"

Maybe the issue here is what you see as a good reason. I'm sure he considers you to be much more valuable than any of those things he sold.

 

[JWG223]

Maybe the issue here is what you see as a good reason. I'm sure he considers you to be much more valuable than any of those things he sold.

I know he does emotionally, but logically? No way. He's lucky I support myself, etc. MANY MANY of my classmates are still mooching. I mean, I consider myself relatively successful as far as an adult, and I still don't think it's a good deal. What if I had turned out to be a true, abject failure at everything? The sad thing is, some kids are/do. Their parents STILL love them. Like the family who has a kid without a brain that just lays there, or the family of the Colorado Theater shooter.

 

[edman87k5]

With the attitude you have, you do not need kids. Please sterilize yourself before you slip up and procreate!

 

[Jotuns]

I know he does emotionally, but logically? No way.

Emotionally almost always trumps logically in humanity. That is a nearly universal truth.

 

[JWG223]

Emotionally almost always trumps logically in humanity. That is a nearly universal truth.

Well, it got us our president. I can't argue.

 

[JCcypress]

I think the question goes straight to, "What is the meaning of life?"

To me: Life isn't about stuff, it's about the people you love.

 

[deuxlatch]

Nothing you can do as a parent will make a kid good or bad, for sure. It's just luck.

Parenting does not come with a guidebook, but there is nothing greater than the unconditional love of a child, except the unconditional love of our Heavenly Father. But that all depends on what you believe. Personally, I would lay down my life for my kids, in spite of the fact that I hate stepping on LEGOs.

 

[JWG223]

With the attitude you have, you do not need kids. Please sterilize yourself before you slip up and procreate!

Now to convince a urologist of this. I don't work with them much, though, and guys under 30 with no kids and no marriage or plan to, it's difficult to convince.

 

[MikeR]

Then give your das everything you've got, tell him you are sorry you screwed up his life, & vote Democrat from now on.

Seriously. If you don't want kids, don't have them, but not because if some misguided notion that you think your dad is missing those material items. He had greater gifts/treasures in his life from having children & a family. If you don't understand, you are not ready.

When you are ready, you'll understand the joy of the first steps, first words, seeing your children grow up & learn, of them becoming wonderful people. At some point in your life, it becomes about more than you & your possessions...and you don't have to justify why you started a family to anyone.

 

[JWG223]

I think the question goes straight to, "What is the meaning of life?"

To me: Life isn't about stuff, it's about the people you love.

...and when you have kids, it's THEM THEM THEM THEM. No room for others, really. Can't hang out with your friends, no intimacy with your partner, it's horrible from what I see. A SINGLE parent? That's a nightmare.

 

[edman87k5]

No. I caused my father to sell his plane, his 'vette, his Harley. I cost him time and money for growing up, I cost him time with his wife and doing what he wanted to do.

Yeah, I'm successful. Yeah, he knows he can hit me up for cash whenever. Yeah, we like having supper once a week or so and just shooting the breeze, but far and away, I still think he is a bit "off" about things if he thinks it was a good trade. I certainly don't. If I were an accident, I would feel guilty about it. I might have been, but I was told I was not, so no guilt. Still, he gave up a LOT just to say "Look, here are pictures of my son and crap he owns and he saves lives and he's not missing a leg or something"

On second thought, an extremely late term abortion is sounding more appropriate for you! You are a self centered, self serving egotist. You say your dad HAD to get rid of all his toys because of you? BS, he loved you, that's why he did it. He could have kept all his crap and have your sorry unappreciative ass up for adoption or just locked you in a closet and fed you ramen noodles once a day, but he didn't.
Maybe some day you will actually grow up and understand this.

 

[JWG223]

Then give your das everything you've got, tell him you are sorry you screwed up his life, & vote Democrat from now on.

Seriously. If you don't want kids, don't have them, but not because if some misguided notion that you think your dad is missing those material items. He had greater gifts/treasures in his life from having children & a family. If you don't understand, you are not ready.

When you are ready, you'll understand the joy of the first steps, first words, seeing your children grow up & learn, of them becoming wonderful people. At some point in your life, it becomes about more than you & your possessions...and you don't have to justify why you started a family to anyone.

Some kids don't become wonderful people. I believe that most of them don't. I don't think I'm a "wonderful person", either, really, although I am productive, pay my taxes, and restrict my disorderly conduct to slight speeding infractions. I guess that's the thing, when you have a kid, it's most likely that they will bring much more trouble than joy. Luckily, I stayed clear of breaking the law, and graduated in my early 20's and went to work and let go of the teat.

 

[XD-GEM]

Your question only makes sense if you look at kids as a commodity and not as a person. If you look at life as a zero-sum game of possessions, then no answer anyone gives you will satisfy you.

Children are a gift from God and are your participation in Creation as an ongoing event.

Fallen human nature, however, means that sometimes your kids are a pain in the ass; sometimes they're a huge financial burden; and sometimes you want to strangle them for their idiocy.

BUT

Sometimes when they come to you and do something purely out of the love in their hearts, you will melt like butter; sometimes you will wonder how you deserved someone so wonderful; and you will be amazed that more people don't take the time to focus their life on something that can truely change the world for the better.

Parenting is hard work; it's not for wusses, nor for the selfish. It can, however, be the most rewarding thing you've ever done.