You might be a Mall Ninja if

[DBMJR1]

Now that I shattered my heel bone, I wonder if I'll ever be able to climb concrete walls.

 

[S&W4ME]

The Saga of the mall ninja all began about 10 years ago on the HK91 forum (although later it was claimed to have started on a glock forum -- this is not true, as the original thread in it's entirety contains a commenter, one Trigger643 who happened to be around at that time).

http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

This is the greatest blog I have ever read. It deserves to be printed, bound, and displayed on my mantle. Thank you kind sir for the gift that keeps on giving

 

[trigger643]

So Gecko 45 isn't the original MN?

I believe Gecko45 was the first trapped in the wild and put on display, there may have been others, stealthier and more Ninja-esque who avoided capture with copious use of camo sticks to blend into the food courts. The Todd mentioned in the blog, was the owner of Specialty Weapons, a company that assembled MP5 kit guns of dubious quality. Todd was on about his 2nd or 3rd incarnation as a company and probably was the first TACTICOOL proponent. HK91 eventually banned Todd (later called Toad).

 

[JR1572]

I believe Gecko45 was the first trapped in the wild and put on display, there may have been others, stealthier and more Ninja-esque who avoided capture with copious use of camo sticks to blend into the food courts. The Todd mentioned in the blog, was the owner of Specialty Weapons, a company that assembled MP5 kit guns of dubious quality. Todd was on about his 2nd or 3rd incarnation as a company and probably was the first TACTICOOL proponent. HK91 eventually banned Todd (later called Toad).

I remember that fiasco.

JR1572

 

[bonewagon]

While reading the lonely machines blog, I kept getting mental images of Napoleon Dynamite with "special Ninja skills". Unbelievable and quite funny. Great stuff. Terrible thing is that there are some folks out there like that. Too bad. Cool read though. Thanks to the OP.

 

[Jack]

JUDY CHOP

 

[Bayoupiper]

Here's my favorite.

 

[Sully]

I lost it at "saving ass virginity"

 

[VeedUp]

"Don't Kung Foo kick and Judy Chop at the same time, might Judy chop your leg off!"

 

[JWG223]

You might be a Mall Ninja if…

If your wardrobe consists entirely of 5.11 then you might be a mall ninja.

If you ever stood downrange while people were firing, you might be a mall ninja.

If you own a drop leg holster, you might be a mall ninja.

If you ever described yourself as HSLD, then might be a mall ninja.

If you shoot any kind of airsoft anywhere but the privacy of your back yard, you might be a mall ninja.

If you’re more interested in how tacticool a gun looks than how it shoots, you might be a mall ninja.

If you have ever attended a tactical carbine class, you might be a mall ninja.

If your “gear” is a fashion statement, you might be a mall ninja.

If you want to be a cop so bad that you impersonate one, you might be a mall ninja.

If you’ve memorized all the acronyms on the survivalblog, you might be a mall ninja.

If you spend time on the Internet arguing about the best tactical flashlight, you might be a mall ninja.

If you own anything made by H&K, you’re a mall ninja, no maybe about it.

If you own a concealed carry badge, then you might be a mall ninja.

If all the blades on your knives are matte black, you might be a mall ninja

If you list the guns you own next to your signature, you might be a mall ninja.

If your M4gery has more rails than a train track, you might be a mall ninja.

Does it count of flashlights themselves were a hobby before I ever put one on a firearm? (literally since I was a little kid, I have always enjoyed a powerful flashlight for hiking, etc. Maybe it comes of growing up in the country. That, and a pocket-knife are 2 items I cannot ever remember not owning)

Also, what is a CCW Badge? I have an ID card/permit. This isn't what I'd consider a "badge", though.

 

[JWG223]

I believe Gecko45 was the first trapped in the wild and put on display, there may have been others, stealthier and more Ninja-esque who avoided capture with copious use of camo sticks to blend into the food courts. The Todd mentioned in the blog, was the owner of Specialty Weapons, a company that assembled MP5 kit guns of dubious quality. Todd was on about his 2nd or 3rd incarnation as a company and probably was the first TACTICOOL proponent. HK91 eventually banned Todd (later called Toad).

I read that legendary exchange, and I wonder, has anyone ever ID'ed him? Was he serious, or was that the post epic, legendary trolling the firearm/survival world has ever known via the internet?

 

[LACamper]

http://www.popguns.com/badge/ccwbadges.htm

 

[Pas Tout La]

http://www.popguns.com/badge/ccwbadges.htm

If any LEO's on here ever come across sombody with one of these........ please, please, please taze that SOB and video it for us!

 

[SVT]

can paintball be interchanged with "If you shoot any kind of airsoft anywhere but the privacy of your back yard, you might be a mall ninja."?

Cause I've played paintball before.

 

[JNieman]

I think paintball players are ok - they don't do anything like pretending to be .mil and their guns don't resemble them at all.

Airsoft is .mil LARPing.

 

[Expert684]

Are you a Mall Ninja if you still have the plastic Junior Detective Badge they gave you when you were 9 years old?

 

[Jack]

Only if you wear it while open carrying.

 

[JNieman]

Only if you wear it while open carrying.

And if wearing while open carrying inside a feline dojo.

 

[SeventhSon]

 

[SVT]

Only if you wear it while open carrying.