Addict threats

[Cat]

Short version: I've mentioned in the past my father has lived with an addict (alcohol and suspected 'scripts). I've also mentioned in the past she's threatened to kill me when drunk/high. I am not the only one she's threatened to kill. I'm just the one that filed a report with the police department over it.

Dad's thrown in the towel. He's done. The extraction is messy but he's admitted he can't sober her up, she'll never be sober and, well… not airing laundry, let's just say she reacts to losing something very negatively. Regardless HIS drama, my question is this...

Statistically what is the data on addicts carrying through with threats? Where I was at was a mile or so from her house. Along the road she'd drive by. Part of me is saying I'm hyping it. Part of me says no, addicts have killed before.

 

[Jotuns]

Short version: I've mentioned in the past my father has lived with an addict (alcohol and suspected 'scripts). I've also mentioned in the past she's threatened to kill me when drunk/high. I am not the only one she's threatened to kill. I'm just the one that filed a report with the police department over it.

Dad's thrown in the towel. He's done. The extraction is messy but he's admitted he can't sober her up, she'll never be sober and, well… not airing laundry, let's just say she reacts to losing something very negatively. Regardless HIS drama, my question is this...

Statistically what is the data on addicts carrying through with threats? Where I was at was a mile or so from her house. Along the road she'd drive by. Part of me is saying I'm hyping it. Part of me says no, addicts have killed before.

Statistics should have nothing to do with it. You should be prepared regardless of the odds.

 

[Cat]

Statistics should have nothing to do with it. You should be prepared regardless of the odds.

Goes without saying. Trust me. I do. Today being caught unarmed when I'm at a "red alert" around her, it upset me.

I'm just curious statistically, how often do they follow through. How often does the family drunk go berserk?

 

[returningliberty]

We get called out every weekend for some drunk going nuts. There's no statistic that will help you because uncompleted threats are generally not reported.

 

[LACamper]

At what percentage would you take it seriously? 5% chance that she'd try to harm you? That's 1 in 20... Yep... I'd be prepared. What if its only 1%? 1 in 100? You'd better believe that if someone told me I had a 1% chance of being attacked today I'd be ready for it. 1 in 1000? Sounds like long odds. People buy lottery tickets in the hopes of hitting much worse odds than that though.

Bottom line? The answer is often enough that you have to honor the threat. So. What does that mean? Restraining order? Why not, fwiw... Watching the front of the house a little more carefully. Keeping a firearm and your cell phone handy. Picking up your son from school rather than the bus stop. Make sure the kids know to avoid her. Set the alarm at night. Be a little more careful. Change up your patterns of travel and habits (if you always go to the grocery at noon on Saturday,etc) a bit. Let your neighbors know what's going on also.

 

[Cat]

We get called out every weekend for some drunk going nuts. There's no statistic that will help you because uncompleted threats are generally not reported.

That's probably true. I didn't think of that. Many things aren't reported.

 

[JNieman]

Statistics mean nothing to an individual. You never know what side of the stat that person may wind up on, and no statistic will give you any better idea of how she may react. At a certain level, it's just a matter of "she will or she won't" This isn't the powerball - the numbers aren't so overwhelming that you can cast aside the improbable. It's probable /enough/ and that's what matters. Trust your instincts, you seem to already know the answer - looking at stats isn't going to change what you already know.

 

[Cat]

Guys, I do appreciate it. I do. But I am taking this seriously. There is much I didn't say, and much we've done as a preventative. She lived with my father, and anybody who has had an addict in the family, it's tough and creates it's own set of issues.

I don't mean to be bitchy, but my question wasn't should I. I asked what the statistics are. How often does a drunk kill a family member over family drama? I've never not taken her seriously because personally I think she will at some point try to hurt somebody.

JNieman, you're right. Looking at statistics won't change. Curiosity is driving my question, not whether or not I should be vigilant. That's all.

 

[S&W4ME]

Cat I know what you're going thru. My dad has been an alcoholic since I was 12. I've seen my dad hit my mom on two occasions and even had him buck up to me. It doesnt get better. 2 years ago I finally cut ties and haven't looked back. I know its just a matter of time til I get the call that he has either killed himself or his liver finally failed.

Take care of you and yours first. Be aware and never lower your guard. If someone wants to destroy their own life so be it but I'll be damn if they're taking me with them.

 

[RedStickChick]

Incoming PM

 

[Storm52]

Cat: I thought your Dad had excised this problem a year ago. Regardless, take the addict threats seriously.

 

[Saker]

Cat,

Being a drunk does not make that person any more or less inclined to carry out a threat.
Any threat against your life should be taken VERY SERIOUSLY, no matter what state of mind you think that person is in, because your really don't know!

Restraining order, absolutely!

Just remember always be protected!

 

[Cat]

Cat: I thought your Dad had excised this problem a year ago. Regardless, take the addict threats seriously.

So did we…. And to be fair, he had for quite a while.

Well, like I said, the extraction from this relationship has been messy.


Thanks everybody. I tend to over think these things. I don't always know if I'm driving myself nuts because I invent a fear or if it's a valid fear. I listen to this one because I am afraid. Still curious over the national data in domestic assaults outside of intimate couples but I will be carrying a gun every where I go for a while.

 

[headspace]

Cat, as most have said, any threat should make the bells go off. And as far as court orders, if she has threatened you and you've already reported it, you might ought to look into a "protective order" which hold more weight, is SUPPOSED to hinder the offender from having a firearm in their possession, and generally gets more than raised eyebrows when the offender defies the order. You may need additional info/reason for a protective order, but, from the info you've shared with us, I think you should have all you need. Sorry for the dread its undoubtedly causing. I wouldn't want the threat of even a 90 year old woman looming over me. You have to sleep sometime, right?
Good luck and watch your back

 

[Just A Number]

You won't actually find a crime statistic for what you're asking. Aquaintance violence includes people that know each other through their gang, prison stays and a myriad of other associations that would skew any number from being menaingful in your case. An important distinction is that the statistic isn't reported the way you're asking the question. It's a yes/no block was a substance in use, not did it cause the violence to ocurr so unless someone has done a study specific to that question you won't find a numerical answer.

What you should ask yourself is this:
Has she been violent in the past? Really hitting/hurting people not just shouting and aggressive posturing. Only you know what kind of person she is as far as motivation to physically harm someone other than herself. It's true drugs remove inhibition and reasoning but if she isn't typically physically violent when she is high she may be more of a nuisance than a threat.

 

[Cat]

Thanks for the data answer. Ya'll are correct I'm asking an impossible question.

She's been aggressive towards her elderly mother. A week in jail, court ordered six month rehab as a result. I do not know how badly physical it was. She did not see her son for a year also. That was seven years ago.

 

[JWG223]

Short version: I've mentioned in the past my father has lived with an addict (alcohol and suspected 'scripts). I've also mentioned in the past she's threatened to kill me when drunk/high. I am not the only one she's threatened to kill. I'm just the one that filed a report with the police department over it.

Dad's thrown in the towel. He's done. The extraction is messy but he's admitted he can't sober her up, she'll never be sober and, well… not airing laundry, let's just say she reacts to losing something very negatively. Regardless HIS drama, my question is this...

Statistically what is the data on addicts carrying through with threats? Where I was at was a mile or so from her house. Along the road she'd drive by. Part of me is saying I'm hyping it. Part of me says no, addicts have killed before.

You can never know another person. Hell, there is a 14 page thread that I started because I don't even completely know myself. I would advise you to prepare for the worst that could happen, remain cheerful, and go about your business with the understanding that this world is a very ugly place sometimes.

That said, I would treat it like a suicide threat: Were they explaining a plan (I will stab you in your sleep/run you over/shoot you...etc?) Do they have the means? Do they have the opportunity? How much thought has gone into it (how elaborate were they?) Have they run off at the mouth before? Did they follow up on it, and if so, to what extent?