Boudreaux and Thibodeaux.

[JBP55]

Marie went into the pharmacy, walked up to Boudreaux, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like ta buy some cyanide."



Then Boudreaux asked, "Mais, Why in de world do ya need cyanide?"



Marie replied, "Ah need it to poison my husband."



Boudreaux eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! A...hhhh can't give you cyanide to kill you husband, dat's against de law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw boat of us in jail! All kinds of bad tings will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"



Marie reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband, Thibodeaux, in bed with Boudreaux’s wife.



Boudreaux looked at the picture and replied, "Well, ok den...you didn't told me you had a prescription."

 

[Hitman]

CLASSIC!

 

[Magdump]

Lol. Awesome.

 

[Vsotok10]

love the authentic dialoge

 

[Qwerty]

Good one. Anybody got more? I have never laughed so hard as when my uncle would go on a run telling those jokes.

 

[doc ace]

Haha! I vote to make this a sticky.. everyone post their favorite Boudreaux and Thibodaux jokes..

 

[Walrus]

Shamelessly stolen...

 

[tim9lives]

I'd say that's a legit script.

 

[deuxlatch]

Mrs. Boudreaux and Mrs. Thibodeaux was fishing on the bank o' da bayou one day. Mrs. Thibodeaux was wondering what Mrs. Boudreaux's secret was because she always seemed to catch da most fish, so she asked. Mrs. Boudreaux said "Mais, when I wake up in da mornin' and Boudreaux's wee wee is hangin' to da left, I fish on the left side and catch all day. If it's hanging on da right, I fish on da right and catch all day." Mrs. Thibodeaux said "Mais what if it's straight up an' down?" Mrs. Boudreaux replied "Mais den I don't go fishin."

 

[Qwerty]

C'mon Cajuns you can do it! Send more..... I've forgotten all 500

 

[Paintball]

Boudreaux & The Bank Robber...

An armed hooded robber bursts into the Bank of Gueydan La, and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash.


On his way out the door with the loot one brave Cajun customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber's face.


The robber shoots the guy without hesitation!

He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him.

One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the robber walks over and calmly shoots him also.

Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.

Did anyone else see my face?' calls the robber.

There are a few moments of silence.........then Boudreaux looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says: 'I think my wife peeked'....


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Louisiana Cajun was stopped by a game warden because he had two ice
chests full of fish. He was leavin' a bayou, well-known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?'

'Naw, sir', replied the cajun. 'I ain't got none of dem there licenses.
You gotta unnerstan', dese here are my pet fish.'

'Pet fish?'

'Yeah. Evry night, I take dese here fish down to de lake and let 'em swim
'round for 'while. Den, when I whistle, dey jump right back into dis here
ice chests and I take 'em home.'

'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that.'

The cajun looked at the warden for a moment and then said, 'It's de truth
Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works.'

'O. K..', said the warden. 'I've got to see this!'

The cajun poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.

After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?'

'Well, what?', says the cajun.

The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?'

'Call who back?'

'The FISH', replied the warden!

'What fish?', replied the cajun.

Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we
ain't as dumb as some government employees.

You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone
retiring and moving north.

 

[Kraut]

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux are sitting on the bank of the bayou behind Boudreaux's cabin.
Boudreaux says to Thibodeaux - "Thibodeaux, ya see dem cabins dere de otha side da bayou? I built all dem cabins for dem people wit my own two hands, but when I walk down da street in town, does anyone say 'Dere go Boudreaux da house builder?' No, dey don't say dat."
Then he says "Thibodeaux, ya see dem docks behind all dem cabins? I built all dem docks, drove all da pilins, laid all da planks, but when I walk in da corner store, does anyone say 'Here come Boudreaux the dock builder?' No, dey don't say dat."
Boudreaux continues: "Thibodeaux, ya see dem pirogues by all dem docks? I carved all dem pirogues by hand for dem people, drug da cypress from da swamp, shape em by eye, but come Sunday-go-ta-meetin, does anyone say 'Look, it's Boudreaux da pirogue carver?' No, dey never say dat."
"But," says Boudreaux, "ya fu@k ONE GOAT!"

 

[Kraut]

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux are sitting on the porch, and Boudreaux is lamenting his lack of formal education.
Thibodeaux tells him "Boudreaux, maybe you can go to dat Dell-guh-doe College, I hear tell lotsa people get dere schoolin dere."
Boudreaux decides this is a good idea and heads on down to register, but as it's late in the cycle the only class that has an opening for him is called "Logic 101."
Boudreaux doesn't really know what the word means, but he figures he's gotta start somewhere so he signs up.
On the first day of class Boudreaux arrives bright and early, eager to get more educated. He approaches the professor and speaks to him: "You da teacher for dis class?" The professor confirms this and Boudreaux continues: "I never had much book learnin, and I'm ready ta learn new tings, but I'm not too sure what dis here 'logic' means."
The professor's face brightens and he flashes a huge grin as he places one hand on Boudreaux's shoulder and waves the other high above his head in a wide arc encompassing all their surroundings, extolling to Boudreaux the wondrous capabilities of the unfettered human brain: "Logic, my friend, is the most wonderful function of the human brain! It is the tool with which we grasp wisdom from within the ever-changing, never-ending torrent of experience that is the human condition!"
Boudreaux looks at the professor with a befuddled expression and says "Dems a lotta big words, mister teacher, I'm still not too sure what it is we gonna be learning about."
The professor says "Let me give you an example of how logic works. Answer me this - Do you own a lawn mower?"
Boudreaux answers "Well, yessir, I own me a nice ridin tractor."
The professor then tells Boudreaux "Well then, if I know that you own a lawn mower, I can use logic to deduce the fact that you own a piece of property. Is that so?"
"Yeah," replies Boudreaux, "I got me a nice piece a land down on da bayou."
The professor continues from this, "So it's now logical for me to assume that if you have a piece of land which you are tending to in such a manner, it is because you live in a dwelling on that property.".
"Dat's right," says Boudreaux, "I got me a nice double-wide what even has a porch wit a railin and aluninnum steps."
"So," says the professor, "Now from that piece of knowledge I can logically infer that if you have a large dwelling of that sort, you are not living alone on that property."
"No, I got da wife and our tree liddle ones runnin round, too" explains Boudreaux.
"AHA!" cries the professor, causing Boudreaux to start a little bit. "You've given me the pieces of information, all along that way, that logically lead me to conclude, since you have a wife and children, that you had to have had sexual intercourse with your wife to conceive said children. Logic then allows me to infer from this string of facts, starting with your ownership of a lawn mower, that you are a heterosexual! Isn't it WONDERFUL how logic leads us through inane data to discovery of fact?"
Boudreaux's mind is BLOWN! "You got alla dat about me bein hetrosexule from my lawnmower? Dat truly is sometin!"
The professor claps Boudreaux on the back and tells him "There's a whole world waiting to be opened up to you through logic, my friend. I hope you enjoy the class!" Boudreaux then takes his seat, anxious to soak up more logic.
Upon returning from class, Boudreaux meets Thibodeaux on the porch and Thibodeaux asks how things went.
"Well, I been learnin about dis ting called 'Logic,' Thibodeaux, an it's really exciting!"
"Logic?" says Thibodeaux. "What's dat?"
Boudreaux tries to paraphrase what the professor told him: "Logic is da tool dat we use in da brain to pull da wisdom from all da tings goin on around us."
Thibodeaux seems a little confused, so Boudreaux carries on. "Let me splain to ya by eggzample. Do ya own a lawn mower?"
Thibodeaux scrunches his forehead a little, looking crooked-wise at Boudreaux for asking such a silly question, and replies "Boudreaux, we been neighbors for years, ya know I don't own no lawn mower."
Boudreaux jumps out of his chair and steps back from Thibodeaux, pointing at him with a look of disgust on his face, and shouts "F@GGOT!"

 

[Paintball]

Thibodeaux pulled his perogue onto the bank and walked toward Bodreaux's house.
Boudreaux sat on the porch and stared at the floor - as he got closer Thibodeaux
saw a chess board on the floor. Boudreaux's rabbit dog, Rex, lay on the other side
of the board.

As Thibodeaux watched Boudreaux moved one of his Bishops to attack the opposite
King. Rex stood and studied the board, then used his nose to push a Knight into a
blocking position.

Boudreaux moved a Rook to attack again - Rex pushed up a Pawn to block.

Boudreaux moved his Queen to cover an attack on the Pawn - Rex studied the board
from several angles, barked once and left.

"Ya no when ye're BEAT, DON'T YA?" Boudreaux yelled at the dog.

"Boudreaux, dat was mazing", Thibodeaux said.

"Yeah, I lernt dat double tack from Old Man John, ain't nobody seed it comin' yet",
Boudreaux said.

"But Boudreaux, I never seed anything like dat bafore. Dat is one smart dog",
Thibodeaux said.

"Nah, he ain't dat smart. He noda rules, but I beat him tree outta ever five games",
Boudreaux bragged.

 

[deuxlatch]

Thibodeaux wuz fishin on da bank o da bayou when Boudreaux come by in his pirogue. Thib shouted "Mais Boudreaux, what you got in dere wit you?"
Boudreaux said "I got a load of crab grass."
Thib: "What you gonna catch wit dat?"
Boud: "Some Crabs"
Thib: "No you aint"
Boud: "Watch me"

Sho 'nuff he come by later wit a boat full o dem crabs and yelled to Thib "Told ya!"

Next day Thib out dere in his same spot and Boud come by in his pirogue again. Thib holler "Hey Boudreaux, what you got in yo boat today?"
Boud: "I gots a load of mud"
Thib: What you gonna do wit dat?"
Boud: "Catch me some mud bugs"
Thib: "No you aint"
Boud: "Watch me"

Sho 'nuff later dat day here come Boud wit a boat full of crawfish. As he pass by he holler at Thib "Told ya."

Next day Thib out dere in his same spot again trying his hardest to catch a fish when here come Boud again. Thib holler "Hey Boud, what you got in your boat today."
Boud: "I gots somptin special today."
Thib: "Whas dat? Monkey grass? You goin' catch some monkies?"
Boud: "Mais no, dis here is pu$$y willows."

Thib thinks fo a minute and yells "Mais wait, I'm comin wit you!"

 

[TecheTitan]

Marie was sleeping in bed early one morning next to Boudreaux when all of a sudden she was awakened by a massive rumbling from Boudreaux's backside from under the sheets.
Marie shouted, "Boudreaux, mais one day you gonna crap yo guts out if ya keep fartin like dat!"
Boudreaux, angered that he was awakened by her said, "No I ain't Marie, quit yo yappin." and he immediately went back to bed.
Aggrivated by the loud awakening and noxious fumes, Marie got out of bed and started her daily routine. While Marie was cleaning the chicken for her gumbo she had an idea, so she took the giblets from the dead bird and quietly snuck back in the bedroom and placed them under the covers near Boudreaux's rear end.

A few hours later, Marie was walking back home from church and notices Boudreaux waiting for her on the front porch looking very anxious.
Boudreaux shouted to her, "Marie, mais, you were right, I actually did crap my guts out! But don't worry cher, with the help of the good Lord and a stick, I got em all back in dere."

 

[LaSpecks]

Boudreaux’s wife, Clotele, goes to the doctor complaining dat after 10 years of marriage she's never had an orgasm. The doctor tells her to stay cool and relaxed by using a fan during sex.

Boudreaux refuses to waste money on a stupid fan so he gets his old buddy Thibodaux to come around and instructs him to flap a towel near the bed while Boudreaux and Clotele are having sex.

Boudreaux goes strong with Clotele for about an hour while Thibodaux flaps the towel but his wife still doesn’t orgasm. She really doesn't know what to do - so she finally asks Boudreaux and Thibodaux if they could swap roles.

After talking it over, they decide to do so. Boudreaux starts flapping the towel and Thibodaux starts bangin Clotele.

After about two minutes she has the best orgasm of her life.


Boudreaux looks at Thibodaux and says "Now that's how you flap a frickin towel!"

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk

 

[TecheTitan]

Boudreaux goes to the doctor. He says, *Mais doc, you gotta check my leg. Sometin wrong. Put your telescope to my tie (thigh), you’ll hear it.

Doc cautiously plade hie tethasope on Boudreaux’s thigh only to hear, *gimme 20 bucks…i really need 20 bucks.

Doc said, *I’ve never heard anything like it before , how long has this been going on?*

*Mais dats nuttin doc, put ya telescope on my knee.*

Doc put his thehascope on boudreaux’s knee & heard it say, *I really need 10 dollars, just lend me 10 bucks*.

Doc said, *I really don’t know what to tell you..I’ve Never seen anything like this before.* Doc was dumfounded.

*Wait doc, dat’s not all. Dere is more, just put your telescope on my ankle*.

Doc did as Boudreaux said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead. *Please, I just need 5 dollars . Lend me 5 bucks pllease if you will.*

Doc said, *I have no idea what to tell you. There is nothing in my reference book about this.*.

I can make a well educated guess though, base on life & all my previous experiences, I can tell you that your leg seem to be broke in three places.

 

[TecheTitan]

Boudreaux traveled home from a train station feeling sick. He told Marie, *Ten hours riding backwards, ah could never stand dat, me.*

Marie axes him, *Mais how come you didn’t ax the one sitting across from you to switch seats?*

Boudreaux said, *Mais ah couldn’t do dat….dare was nobody sitting dare.."

 

[TecheTitan]

Thibodeaux was visiting with his friend Boudreaux one day. Boudreaux asked Thibodeaux what he had been up to lately.

Thibodeaux says, "Well, I just came back from Lafayette.
"What were you doing in Lafayette?" asked Boudreaux.

"I went up dair to buy me a new hunting dog," replies Thibodeaux.

Boudreaux says, "Mais, Thibodeaux, what's wrong with the hunting dogs from around here?"

Thibodeaux says, "Well, this hunting dog can walk on water.

Boudreaux laughs, "Thibodeaux, you got fooled. Hunting dogs can't walk on water."

Thibodeaux says, "I'm telling you. My new hunting dog can walk on water. You want to see?"

So Boudreaux and Thibodeaux go out on the lake with Thibodeaux's new hunting dog. Pretty soon, Thibodeaux brings down a duck. The dog immediately walks out across the water, retrieves the duck, and jumps back in the boat.

Thibodeaux turns to Boudreaux, "So what do you think of dat?"

Boudreaux replies, "I don't think dat dog can't swim, me"