I'm a chemist and small business owner.
Environmental, health and safety consultant...companies hire ours to conduct audits of their EHS programs to identify weakness so they can be fixed before EPA, DEQ and OSHA finds them out of compliance.
I'm a doctor, lawyer, movie star, astronaut, and I own a bar.
In my spare time I sit around and listen to people bitch, make coffee, talk on the phone, surf the web, dig into the deepest, darkest secrets of people's lives, find stolen property, locate missing loved ones, find wanted criminals, babysit cops, babysit criminals, ass kiss superiors, etc. etc. etc...
Sticking it to the man, eh?
You forgot avatar designer.
Environmental, health and safety consultant...