7 days to go and im nervous as heck!!!!!!!!!

[Russo]

How is getting married the "right thing"?
Getting married for the sake of a kid is never "the right thing". People should get married because they want to spend the rest of their lives together--for whatever reasons--hopefully love being one of them.

God's covenant of marriage always came before having children.. we have a "wedding" as a social event, but the reality is that a marriage begins when the two (male and female) have sex... therefore, the OP is already married in God's eyes.. the marriage ceremony is part of the commitment a man and woman have with each other to show that they are putting each other before their own wants and desires... children who are raised with a maybe daddy or an absent mother have a much more difficult time than a committed set of married parents...

 

[2011Corvette]

"therefore, the OP is already married in God's eyes.."

I beg to differ. Not throwing stones but the marriage should come before the children.

 

[notasheeple]

the fact that you're already referring to it as your "first wedding" speaks volumes...

+1. Reminds me of a friend who just had his "1st annual bachelor party"
Haha

 

[JWG223]

God's covenant of marriage always came before having children.. we have a "wedding" as a social event, but the reality is that a marriage begins when the two (male and female) have sex... therefore, the OP is already married in God's eyes.. the marriage ceremony is part of the commitment a man and woman have with each other to show that they are putting each other before their own wants and desires... children who are raised with a maybe daddy or an absent mother have a much more difficult time than a committed set of married parents...

Just because you are married doesn't make you committed, or "good parents". My parents were still very committed to raising me even after their divorce, if not moreso.

All this talk about "morality" viewed through your lens is obscuring the issue at hand: Marriage won't make you love someone or get along with them or transform a man or woman into a good parent who otherwise wasn't.

OP should get married only if they feel it is RIGHT FOR THEM WITH THAT PERSON, not some archaic Hebrew tradition's dictation. It is ridiculous to think that parents cannot be great parents just because they aren't married.

 

[2011Corvette]

I understand more why Obama is elected president. He has a book on morals.

 

[JWG223]

I understand more why Obama is elected president. He has a book on morals.

A book?
He has them all. He just tells whatever group he is speaking to what they want to hear from theirs, and they eat it up.

 

[Old Smokey]

Hey, don't listen to all these guys. Marriage is easy. I've done it several times!

 

[jimdana1942]

That's what a Best Man is for. If there are difficulties then dump it all on him, it's his fault.

Just kiddin. Just make it a day in both of your lives to remember and be sure alot of pictures are taken.

Oh, and I would certainly have both the babies there so when they are older they will know how important they were to both of you.

 

[JWG223]

That's what a Best Man is for. If there are difficulties then dump it all on him, it's his fault.

Just kiddin. Just make it a day in both of your lives to remember and be sure alot of pictures are taken.

Oh, and I would certainly have both the babies there so when they are older they will know how important they were to both of you.

Oh jeez, I hope it works, or that could be damaging!

You see, Billy, Sarah, here in front, right there in the stroller? That's the reason Daddy doesn't have a house anymore. Yeah. That's you guys...

I cost my Dad a private plane, Harley, and Corvette. I still feel like an ass, but it was HIS fault as I was planned (or so they tell me).

 

[dfsutton]

"therefore, the OP is already married in God's eyes.."

I beg to differ. Not throwing stones but the marriage should come before the children.

Did you read the Original Post? It's kinda late for that now, don't you think?

 

[JWG223]

Did you read the Original Post? It's kinda late for that now, don't you think?

Indeed, so the good christian will once again change what his book says to suite his own reality (or rather, the good christian onlooker/another's reality).

I'm sorry, but there is no crime regardless of what OP were to have done, and making people feel that way is messed up, imo. It leads to those marriages that lead to divorces.

 

[2011Corvette]

You don't get married because you have kids .... You get married because you want to have kids!

 

[JWG223]

You don't get married because you have kids .... You get married because you want to have kids!

+1, but you don't have to be married to have kids, either. A loving set of parents, or even 1 loving parent, is quite enough.

 

[Captain_Morgan]

Some crazy replies here....

OP, my only advice is never forget why you married the woman. Never lose sight of that, and the two of you will do fine. There will be hard times and easy times, but the ride is what makes it worth it. My wife is my best friend, and I'd be devastated without her.

 

[2011Corvette]

+1, but you don't have to be married to have kids, either. A loving set of parents, or even 1 loving parent, is quite enough.

That is where this country's moral break down begins. Again, not throwing stones, but a man and woman should be married before they have a child.

 

[JWG223]

That is where this country's moral break down begins. Again, not throwing stones, but a man and woman should be married before they have a child.

I think it's ideal, yes, but hardly necessary.

 

[Ritten]

Some crazy replies here....

OP, my only advice is never forget why you married the woman. Never lose sight of that, and the two of you will do fine. There will be hard times and easy times, but the ride is what makes it worth it. My wife is my best friend, and I'd be devastated without her.

+1

Take responsibility for the welfare of your marriage in both spiritual and emotional aspects. In your list of priorities it should come before your kids. Expectations (both conscious and unconscious) should be laid out on the table and understood BEFORE you say "I do". One of the biggest assets my wife and I have is another couple (much older) who share our faith, has been through the hard times, weathered the storms, and are willing to help us when life starts throwing curve balls.

 

[Russo]

I think it's ideal, yes, but hardly necessary.

the words you chose are on two completely different spectrums... it is necessary for a child to grow up with one father and one mother.. we need to not look far into the black community to see where the absent fathers in the family leads to corruption in the upbringing of their offspring.. while i was not throwing rocks when it comes to pre marital sex (being guilty, yet forgiven of it myself) you cannot say that society is better off with single parents raising their offspring..
"For the LORD loves justice, and he will never abandon the godly. He will keep them safe forever, but the children of the wicked will die." Psalm 37:28

 

[2011Corvette]

Exactly my point. One man and one woman. See what takes place in the family when a father is not present. You don't have to look very far.
It takes a Godly man to represent a Godly family.

 

[whitsend]

Some crazy replies here....

OP, my only advice is never forget why you married the woman. Never lose sight of that, and the two of you will do fine. There will be hard times and easy times, but the ride is what makes it worth it. My wife is my best friend, and I'd be devastated without her.

I'm with Captain_Morgan on this.
Be committed to your marriage. Not just for now, but forever.
There will be good times and bad, but you both need to commit to stay together and work it out, no matter what.
With both husband and wife committed to making the marriage work, nothing can stop it.
If only one is committed, nothing can make it last.

Not casting stones, but you have put yourself, and your kids, at a disadvantage by having kids first, but you can still have a successful marriage and successful family.
I personally recommend 3 years of marriage before even trying to have children. This gives you more time to grow and strengthen your relationship together before adding the stress of children. Yes, as wonderful as children are, they do introduce a lot of stress into the marriage relationship.
Having kids first will make it harder, but you can do it.

Don't stop dating just because you are married. (Only date your wife of course. )
Tell her you love her everyday.
Tell her she is beautiful everyday.
Tell her she is sexy everyday.
Give her a 10 second kiss every morning AND every night.

Help her with the kid.
Change diapers.
Get up with them in the middle of the night.
You're in this together, forever.

Don't think about and plan for the best way to get out.
Think about and plan for how to make it work.