Now we all know most city-folk go plumb crazy at the sight of any animal that didn't come from the pen of Walt Disney or the display widow of Puppies-R-Us down by the Mall. So it shouldn't be surprising that the laws have gotten a little nutty where the wild things are concerned.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
The state Wildlife laws call opossums "nuisance animals" which can be taken anytime without license or permit. They suggest that you shoot the critters. However, the City of New Orleans has laws pre-dating pre-emption that prohibit "hunting" in the city limits. This includes shooting with any type of weapon, gun, bow, etc. And other methods of bumping them off are considered animal cruelty.
So it was, back not too long ago, that when someone in New Orleans had a problem with opossums, they'd just pick up the phone and call the SPCA (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals). Then they'd send Bubba out with his traps, Bubba would catch a mess of 'possum for dinner, and everyone would be happy - except the opossum, I guess. Then Katrina hit, and things changed. The SPCA (and much of the city) was taken over by Northeastern Liberal Animal-rightists, and their fellow travelers. Laws got changed. (You can't even own a fertile dog or cat unless you have a "breeder's license," but I digress).
The SPCA let Bubba go and wouldn't come trap anything, although they WOULD let you trap it yourself and bring it to them. So, over time, I can't even count how many of the durn things I've brought them, because another section of state law says you can't release a wild animal into the wild, unless it's on your own property. This arangement worked reasonably well.
Until now.
Now The SPCA wants a $25 handling fee to take the critter off of your hands, and then you may not drop one off for a year. I was stunned when I walked in to the place today and they told me that - well at least when a Supervisor came out and told me that after the counter workers all cowered in fear at the mighty opossum hissing in the cage in my hand.
So I did the only thing I could do.
I turned around and drove the opposum back to my place, and in my best Humphrey Bogart imitation told him, "Well, Louie, it looks like the Warden's gotten you a reprieve."
Then I gave him a stern lecture about not leaving my property once I released him, but he was obviously a psychotic, anti-social, deviant opossum with no regard for the law, because no sooner had I opened the cage in my front yard, when he bolted down the street as fast as his stumpy little legs could carry him.
So now I guess we'll just have to put up with the dog barking all night long at the opossums in the area. Then the SPCA can come fine me for violating the anti-barking dog ordinance.
Unless, of course, someone has a solution to the problem that won't get me fined or arrested - or cost me an arm and a leg.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
The state Wildlife laws call opossums "nuisance animals" which can be taken anytime without license or permit. They suggest that you shoot the critters. However, the City of New Orleans has laws pre-dating pre-emption that prohibit "hunting" in the city limits. This includes shooting with any type of weapon, gun, bow, etc. And other methods of bumping them off are considered animal cruelty.
So it was, back not too long ago, that when someone in New Orleans had a problem with opossums, they'd just pick up the phone and call the SPCA (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals). Then they'd send Bubba out with his traps, Bubba would catch a mess of 'possum for dinner, and everyone would be happy - except the opossum, I guess. Then Katrina hit, and things changed. The SPCA (and much of the city) was taken over by Northeastern Liberal Animal-rightists, and their fellow travelers. Laws got changed. (You can't even own a fertile dog or cat unless you have a "breeder's license," but I digress).
The SPCA let Bubba go and wouldn't come trap anything, although they WOULD let you trap it yourself and bring it to them. So, over time, I can't even count how many of the durn things I've brought them, because another section of state law says you can't release a wild animal into the wild, unless it's on your own property. This arangement worked reasonably well.
Until now.
Now The SPCA wants a $25 handling fee to take the critter off of your hands, and then you may not drop one off for a year. I was stunned when I walked in to the place today and they told me that - well at least when a Supervisor came out and told me that after the counter workers all cowered in fear at the mighty opossum hissing in the cage in my hand.
So I did the only thing I could do.
I turned around and drove the opposum back to my place, and in my best Humphrey Bogart imitation told him, "Well, Louie, it looks like the Warden's gotten you a reprieve."
Then I gave him a stern lecture about not leaving my property once I released him, but he was obviously a psychotic, anti-social, deviant opossum with no regard for the law, because no sooner had I opened the cage in my front yard, when he bolted down the street as fast as his stumpy little legs could carry him.
So now I guess we'll just have to put up with the dog barking all night long at the opossums in the area. Then the SPCA can come fine me for violating the anti-barking dog ordinance.
Unless, of course, someone has a solution to the problem that won't get me fined or arrested - or cost me an arm and a leg.
